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A place to submit Funny Amazon Reviews.

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Very we'll behaved! He doesn't require much food or water, kinda just sits there. Good quality squirrel.

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Anonymous Anonymous · 14d

HELPFUL<I HOPE

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Anonymous Anonymous · 15d

"I apologise in advance for the long winded review, in writing this I hope that it may even stop just one person experiencing what I and my family had to go through (and are still dealing with the emotional scars to this, group therapy is helping a little)

So to the review -
I accidentally had a handful of these sugar free gummy bears when a passenger in my car offered me some. I didn't even get a look at the bag so had no idea what I was letting myself in for. I swallowed the large handful of the seemingly innocent jellies. Within minutes my stomach started to cramp up and I instantly needed the toilet, unfortunately I was only 20 minute into an hours drive, so I then spent the longest 40 minutes of my sweating and shaking whilst using every ounce of my being squeezing my sphincter as hard as I could to stop an explosive excretion, which would have been complete career suicide with a car full of my work colleagues.

Finally I got back home, my knees trembling as I fumbled to get my belt open as I ran up the stairs to the bathroom. As soon as my cheeks made contact with the bowl, what ensued was something akin to a faeces hiroshima explosion. The force was so great that my excrement (now complete liquid) hit the toilet bowl in a wave like motion that sent most of it back up between my legs, leaving my groin(both the beans and the frank), stomach, chest, face and even the CEILING above my head dripping with my own warm faeces.

To say ive never been so disappointed with a confectionery product is an understatement, I can assure you, from now on, I will be sticking to my weekly 2kg tub of tangfastics in future.

Kind Regards
your Psychologically scarred and physically stained loyal Haribo customer"

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Fush Fush · 16d

I once bought an Supreme Hoodie on Amazon and after a few days there came an box with a paper on it whichs says: "Supreme.com" , I opened it up and the only thing I saw was a blue paper with the text "SIKE" on it. Lmfao

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Anonymous Anonymous · 18d

Atomic Balm

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Love this free wheelchair I finally wanted to be in a wheelchair for a hobby I can live in luxury with a joystick YAYYYY

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Anonymous Anonymous · 29d

5 stars
I got a free cat in the box with this purchase but I'm not sure if I should open it to see if the cat is ok.

One star:
I typed this review with 4 arms and 3 eyes. Would not recommend

One star:I got cancer on my crotch
All can be found at the link

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"My young grand daughter downloaded without my permission and so she is not getting anything for her birthday this year." -Julie Wilkes, Beat the Boss 3

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this item can be found at


1/5 stars
Doesn't ship with steering wheel or vehicle
By BenWS on 3 Jun. 2015
Despite the pictures showing a fine young lady utilising this device in a vehicle, the product details do not state the fact that you need to provide your own steering wheel and car. I bought this product as I thought it was a cheap way into car ownership. Can you imagine my disappointment when it showed up in a box with nothing else inside?

Initially, I thought it was a box like the suitcase out of Mary Poppins. However, despite spending hours searching around in the box trying to find the extra space, all I found was a rusty staple. To add insult to injury, the staple wasn't even fit for purpose as I tried to fix my broken washing line with it and it bent.

If (like me) you are purchasing this item to provide a vehicle for your needs, you will be disappointed!

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Anonymous Anonymous · 1mo

"Handy bit of kit to have... only feedback I have is that it is to big to fit in a Victoria sponge that I was sending to my uncle in HMP Belmarsh. Fortunately it does fit inside a chocolate gataux so looking forward to spending Christmas together this year."

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Chidoe Chidoe · 2mo

"Magic stuff. Been taking 1 spoon a day for 3 weeks. I can now type this review using all 12 fingers." - Uranium Ore

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1/5 stars. With a misleading title I got a vibrator for my 4 year old for Christmas. I feel dumb now because the title said "fun toy for the bedroom." But it still said it was okay for kids! I was in a rush so I ordered that last minute and wrapped it as soon as it arrived. To make matters worse, it was supposed to be a present from Santa. I couldn't beleive my eyes when he opened it. The conversation with him was more awkward than when my parents had to explain to me it was the oval office not the oral office.

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Oh man...words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear "Cleanse". If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN!

First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety...I was a happy camper.

BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.

Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.

But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible.

AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS.

I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005.

I had FIVE POUNDS of these innocent-looking delicious-tasting HELLBEARS so I told a friend about what happened to me, thinking it HAD to be some type of sensitivity I had to the sugar substitute, and in spite of my warnings and graphic descriptions, she decided to take her chances and take them off my hands.

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Sugar Free Gummi Bears Review

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My 15 year old son asked for this for his birthday and when he got it he immediately put it on and started acting really strange, started yelling and screaming things like "hamburger please" and "why did you leave me". He also rolls round on the floor with it on and makes weird faces. I ask him why and he said that he must do it in the good name of chin chin. I'm really confused on why he acts so crazy with the suit on.

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Pokemon Center Original Lillie Drum Bag - Pew!

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Anonymous Anonymous · 3mo

Tastes like cardboard. Needs garlic.

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Anonymous Anonymous · 3mo

i bought a pikachu stuffed stuffed animal for my child and when i got it it was nothing like the picture so i checked the reviews and i saw that everyone got different ones none like the picture.
amazon.com

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I didn't feel the need to plan my weekend around 5 small gummybears. But if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
It began with a noticeable change in the viscosity of my saliva. Within minutes of consumption, my mouth had filled with a thick foamy slime. Though I was in a cool climate controlled room a salty sweat broke out, and I felt my heartbeat quicken as my body threw itself into fight or flight.
The animal noises broadcasting from my pelvis were an ominous warning of the violent acts that were to follow. I shouldered my way into the bathroom, clawing at my belt, moaning with pain. The smell came first. It started sweet, almost tangy. That was quickly overpowered by a cloying chemical perfume.
The first volley of feces hit the water like soda cans and nickles. The resulting splash drenching my bottom in foul brackish water, but this was quickly becoming the least of my worries.
After another moment, the noises in my core hit a fever pitch and I was struck rigid with pain. The sweat was now running into my eyes, but the room had turned ice cold and my hands began to spasm.
I felt an insidious burning flooding my escape hatch. I gasped. Hot yellow poison began spraying from my rear, changing in pitch and echo as the stream of diarrhea whipped around the toilet bowl, creating a nightmarish Doppler effect that can only be appreciated in hindsight.
My legs fell asleep sitting on the toilet. I couldn't have stood up if I wanted to.
Wiping was a no-go. Toilet paper simply became a vile paper mache'. My hands were quickly soiled. A full blown shower was needed, and all of my towels had to be burned.
So happy with my purchase, would recommend to friends and definitely buying again!

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my wife bought this book. i have no idea why--our kids are grown. she's in school now so its probably for some paper. we have too many books at home. she collects them. we have too many dogs too.

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