A place to submit Funny Amazon Reviews.
"My young grand daughter downloaded without my permission and so she is not getting anything for her birthday this year." -Julie Wilkes, Beat the Boss 3
this item can be found at
Doesn't ship with steering wheel or vehicle
By BenWS on 3 Jun. 2015
Despite the pictures showing a fine young lady utilising this device in a vehicle, the product details do not state the fact that you need to provide your own steering wheel and car. I bought this product as I thought it was a cheap way into car ownership. Can you imagine my disappointment when it showed up in a box with nothing else inside?
Initially, I thought it was a box like the suitcase out of Mary Poppins. However, despite spending hours searching around in the box trying to find the extra space, all I found was a rusty staple. To add insult to injury, the staple wasn't even fit for purpose as I tried to fix my broken washing line with it and it bent.
If (like me) you are purchasing this item to provide a vehicle for your needs, you will be disappointed!
"Handy bit of kit to have... only feedback I have is that it is to big to fit in a Victoria sponge that I was sending to my uncle in HMP Belmarsh. Fortunately it does fit inside a chocolate gataux so looking forward to spending Christmas together this year."
"Magic stuff. Been taking 1 spoon a day for 3 weeks. I can now type this review using all 12 fingers." - Uranium Ore
1/5 stars. With a misleading title I got a vibrator for my 4 year old for Christmas. I feel dumb now because the title said "fun toy for the bedroom." But it still said it was okay for kids! I was in a rush so I ordered that last minute and wrapped it as soon as it arrived. To make matters worse, it was supposed to be a present from Santa. I couldn't beleive my eyes when he opened it. The conversation with him was more awkward than when my parents had to explain to me it was the oval office not the oral office.
Oh man...words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear "Cleanse". If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN!
First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety...I was a happy camper.
BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.
Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.
But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible.
AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS.
I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005.
I had FIVE POUNDS of these innocent-looking delicious-tasting HELLBEARS so I told a friend about what happened to me, thinking it HAD to be some type of sensitivity I had to the sugar substitute, and in spite of my warnings and graphic descriptions, she decided to take her chances and take them off my hands.
My 15 year old son asked for this for his birthday and when he got it he immediately put it on and started acting really strange, started yelling and screaming things like "hamburger please" and "why did you leave me". He also rolls round on the floor with it on and makes weird faces. I ask him why and he said that he must do it in the good name of chin chin. I'm really confused on why he acts so crazy with the suit on.
i bought a pikachu stuffed stuffed animal for my child and when i got it it was nothing like the picture so i checked the reviews and i saw that everyone got different ones none like the picture.
I didn't feel the need to plan my weekend around 5 small gummybears. But if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
It began with a noticeable change in the viscosity of my saliva. Within minutes of consumption, my mouth had filled with a thick foamy slime. Though I was in a cool climate controlled room a salty sweat broke out, and I felt my heartbeat quicken as my body threw itself into fight or flight.
The animal noises broadcasting from my pelvis were an ominous warning of the violent acts that were to follow. I shouldered my way into the bathroom, clawing at my belt, moaning with pain. The smell came first. It started sweet, almost tangy. That was quickly overpowered by a cloying chemical perfume.
The first volley of feces hit the water like soda cans and nickles. The resulting splash drenching my bottom in foul brackish water, but this was quickly becoming the least of my worries.
After another moment, the noises in my core hit a fever pitch and I was struck rigid with pain. The sweat was now running into my eyes, but the room had turned ice cold and my hands began to spasm.
I felt an insidious burning flooding my escape hatch. I gasped. Hot yellow poison began spraying from my rear, changing in pitch and echo as the stream of diarrhea whipped around the toilet bowl, creating a nightmarish Doppler effect that can only be appreciated in hindsight.
My legs fell asleep sitting on the toilet. I couldn't have stood up if I wanted to.
Wiping was a no-go. Toilet paper simply became a vile paper mache'. My hands were quickly soiled. A full blown shower was needed, and all of my towels had to be burned.
So happy with my purchase, would recommend to friends and definitely buying again!
my wife bought this book. i have no idea why--our kids are grown. she's in school now so its probably for some paper. we have too many books at home. she collects them. we have too many dogs too.
I Ate An Entire 5 Pound Bag of Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears And Am Writing This Review From The Toilet
"It Feels Like Mount Saint Helen's Just Exploded From My butt hole....Why? Oh Why?
I uttered these fateful words 5 hours ago when the water fountain of diarrhea started to exit my rear end like an exorcism in full progress. I am severely dehydrated and have set a new world record for most poops in a 5 hour period with 9. I am lying on the bathroom floor in the fetal position just like another gentleman who experienced the same thing which he wrote in his review, and I plan on spending the night right where I am. May god have mercy on my insides.
So I bought this item for my starving child. He weighed 30 pounds before I purchased this item. When the item arrived I was disappointed as it is a poster and I have no house. Hence no walls to hang it on. I gave it to a blind man and he ate the entire thing. He then got very sick and sued me. I now have no sandwich and no money. Thank you.
Vape Nash Y'all!!!
This little thing may not look like much but this thing lets you rip some fat clouds that would make Papa proud, I'm a noob to the vape nash but im now a member great starter vape, cheap e liquid, and tons 'o' pussy bois! Been practicing my skills boi and now my rips are fat as hell.
Join Vape Nation y'all, Papa Bless and buy this now.
I purchased this book as I was tired of people sitting too near me on public transport.
I don't know if this is a scam or if mine was broken, but it doesn't work and I am still getting abducted by UFO's on a regular basis.
Be very careful with this book. Thinking myself clever, I shaved my dog, then knitted him a sweater using his own fur. I believe this paradox may have ripped a small hole in the space-time continuim. My son seems to be now aging in reverse, causing me to deduct one star from this review. Otherwise a very informative book