I used to read fanfictions of my favorite anime on AO3 before I went to sleep.
I LIKE DUBSTEP
When I was 12 I aborted my wife's baby and claimed it was a miscarriage.
When I was about 13 or so, I bought a deck of "Cards Against Humanity" off Amazon. I had it for about 3 days and my mom found 'em...
When I was a kid, I used to believe that Santa Claus was the son of Jesus Christ.
I kissed a girl.
One time I was making out with this guy at school in a hallway we weren't supposed to be in. While we were kissing I felt something poke my thigh down below. Before I could put it into context, the teacher yelled at us to leave. I ran out to the bathroom and seconds later the bell rang. I then realized I gave him a boner and he had to walk to class in front of everyone with it.
I hate my sister.
Once in Art Class we were washing up and it was really crowded. I accidentally painted a green stripes on someones dress. Whoops. They'll never know it was me though
My class once annoyed a teacher so mush that she literally left early. We did things like tricked her into calling us the wrong names and one by one we walked out of the classroom. It was April Fools Day Though so NO REGRETS WOOHOO
Every time I go to my friends houses I try all the products they have in their bathroom and room ( perfume, lotion) idk why try before I buy I guess. Recently my friend caught me putting on some of her bronzing cream. It was awkward af. Still have no regrets haha
I'm ugly af
My brother made a deep knife cut into his knee and i blamed it on the dog. It worked.
im cheating on my wife
I talk to my cat as if she is a really person and we respond back and forth to each other, I'm not sure if that makes me a psychopath or not.
I drank shower water
All the way through secondary school i was addicted to eating paper out of the scraps that i left in a pouch in my bag
I once hit some random person in the nuts with my school bag
Once I was about to go to the bathroom in my friends hotel room. I took my pants of and peed through my underwear and onto the ground. The floor already had a lot of water so I kept the pee there and threw my underwear in the trash can
I borrowed my friend heels that she just got and i Broke them. I used super glue but it didn't work so I bought another pair that look the excact same at a target which were like 10 bucks...oops