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A place to submit Funny Text Conversations.

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lz888 lz888 · 3d

kid- I got suspended from school today.
mom- Why?
kid- The teacher asked me what my name was, and I told her to mind her own f*cking business.

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Mom: Sweetheart, you left your phone at home.
Mom: Hello?
Mom: Why aren't you answering your texts?
Mom: Oh. Never mind.

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Mom: your grandfather just died lol
Kid: why is that funny?
Mom: it's no!
Kid: Mom lol means laugh out loud
Mom: Oh no! I thought it meant lots of love! I texted that to everyone!
Bye

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Blubbz Blubbz · 9d

Principal: Ma'am, your child has been suspended. Please come pick her up.

Mom: Oh my, what happened? I'm on my way.

Principal: Your child said a curse word in class.

Mom: Where the f*ck did she learn that?

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Me- Hey mom. I just got suspended.

Mom- What for?! You're grounded for driving and video games.

Me- My teacher pointed a ruler at me and said," There is an idiot at the end of this ruler." I told her," Which end are you talking about?"

Mom- You're un-grounded for doing exactly what I would have done.

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lz888
lz888 · 3d

Your grounded FROM driving and video games, not for

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TheImbecileOfLife
TheImbecileOfLife · 2d

I don't care the hell

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Me- Hey emily it is brett, i will be there to pick you up at 7, Cant wait to see you babe!

Vanessa- This is Vanessa's dad. you are hereby cut off from all contact to her because you are cheating on my only daughter you scumbag.

Me- so what does this mean?

Vanessa- This means you are no longer dating my daughter.

Me- Can i still date Emily tho?

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Barry - I think I am going to get drunk tonight at the party!
Mom - I think not

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Blubbz Blubbz · 11d

Dad: Honey you forgot your phone at home

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Waffle
Waffle · 1d

Classic : ^)

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mom - Ur great aunt just passed away. LOL!
David - Why is that funny?
mom - Its not funny David what r u saying
David - LOL mean laugh out load
mom - oh shit, I just sent that to the family!

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Blubbz Blubbz · 11d

Me: Dad there's a moth on the outside of the bathroom can you get rid of it???
...
Me: Pls hurry because I'm going to cry
...
Me: Dad
...
Me: Dad

Dad: Dad is dead. You're next. Love, Moth.

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Me. R u in the library

Me. Going to library

Me. Helloooooo?!

Me ( insert name here) ARE YOU IN THE LIBRARY? I AM GOING THERE NOW!

Friend. I am texting u through Siri! THIS IS COOL!

Me. :(

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Me: I forgot to bring money with me lol
Mom: Don't call me

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Me: Hey babe, you ready?
Girlfriend: To leave you? Hell yea!

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Anonymous Anonymous · 13d

Friend: SomeBODY once told meh.......
Me: The WORLD was
gonna roll meh!
Friend: wait what is that song? Me: IDK I just like it! Friend: Why are we friends?

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I went to a new school so my friend texted to me to send pics of the school. Someone I knew saw the chat conversation and thought I was sending nudes, so told the whole school.

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Bot: Wanna make some free money working from home? Click on this link: (link)

Me: Lol that doesn't make any sense how can you make free money working from home

Bot: I SAID CLICK IT!!!

Me: ...

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Hot girl: Hey bby?
Me: Yeah?
Hot girl: Want to take this further than hugging?
Me: Yeah!
Hot girl: Well...do you like Undertale cosplay?
Me: NOPE GOODBYE YOU WEIRDO.

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Anonymous Anonymous · 17d

Mom: What do you for dinner?

Me: Spoogoter

Mom: What is spoogoter?

Me: OMG mom its a meme

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Anonymous Anonymous · 18d

Me:The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds.Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding].Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Friend:According to all known laws of aviation,there is no way a bee should be able to fly.Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.The bee,of course,flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.Yellow,black.Yellow,black.Yellow,black.Yellow,black.Ooh!Black and yellow!Let's shake it up a little.

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Me: The ❄ glows ☀ on the

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